Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Ok, in my last post I mentioned that I had written a piece about mine and Jason's first visit to Ikea and posted said piece to Facebook. I stated that I would go pull that piece and re-post it here on my blog. I'm finally doing it. Yeah, I'm slack and I know it. Get over it. Anyhoo - without further ado, here is the Ikea piece I wrote on December 21, 2009:

Recently Jason and I made the pilgrimage to the Ikea store in Charlotte. Holy mother of cow patties, talk about an adventure. We got there right at 10:00am - opening time. We didn't leave until a bit past 6:00pm. By the time I left I was wishing I could walk on my hands because my feet hurt that bad. Seriously for about 2 days after that fateful day, anytime I heard/said/saw the word 'Ikea' my feet would start to throb. Part way through our experience, I decided to whip out my handy dandy notepad and jot down some things that I didn't want to forget.

Here are some of the poignant memories of that extra special day (in no particular order):

* Seeing the hilarious gay couple. Well only 1/2 of this couple was hilarious. The hilarious guy was the weirdo walking around with his cell phone in his hand, listening to music. At first Jason and I thought it was his ring tone and he was enjoying it so much that he didn't want to answer his phone, but then we realized that, no, this guy was just dancing around the store in his own personal rave. Sweet. But our FAVORITE moment with this guy was when the non-hilarious 1/2 of this couple asked the hilarious part about their kitchen cabinets. Obviously they were in the process of redoing their cabinets and non-hilarious guy asks hilarious guy "What do you want the kitchen to say about us." Hilarious guy's response? I kid you not (trust me, I can't make this stuff up) -" I want it to say middle aged hip new fresh idea." This was the moment that I knew I had to record the special parts of this day.

* Jason was so overwhelmed with the enormity of this store that he kept asking if we'd have to get our hand stamped for re-entry into the store. I had to keep reminding him that this was not a theme park... although I'm not sure I believe that myself.

* If you've ever been to an Ikea store, then you know in the show room part of the store they have "rooms set up." They even went so far as to put clothes in the armoires/closets and shoes on the shoe racks. As I would come across the clothes, I would start checking them out. Jason continually had to say "Would you stop clothes shopping?!?!" Hey, some of the clothes were cute. As for the shoes... I found a pair I REALLY liked, but they were screwed onto the shoe rack so people couldn't take them. Damn you Ikea.

* Again with the set up rooms - it was funny to watch people take items from one "room" and put them in another "room" to see how Item A worked in Room B. For example - in the Workstation Area, I witnessed one guy take a desk organizer from one desk and go into another area, putting the organizer on the desk in the 2nd area. He kinda made his own little set up.

* Being proud of myself for going to the bathroom by myself. Ok, I know how funny that sounds. But, believe me, I'm completely directionally challanged. This store was soooooo big. We were some where in the middle of the store and I had to pee... and I was bored. There's only so long I can stare at kitchen cabinetry before my eyes start to cross. So I told Jason that I was going to run to the little girls' room. Being a gentleman he did ask if I wanted him to go with me. But I decided to be a Big Girl and go alone. Somehow I made it to the bathroom AND found my way back to Jason WITHOUT using bread crumbs or any other trail markers. I will admit that since I didn't have a store map on me (my big mistake - and for the folks who have never been to Ikea, yes, they do have store maps that you can get to carry with you) I didn't take any short cuts. Those short cuts would've been helpful, cutting off at least a day's worth of trek. Also the paths between the set ups is a gray floor with arrows pointing the way. I could've cut corners by walking through display areas, but I was too scared to get off the chosen paths. So, again, that added another day and 1/2 to my trek time. Sheesh.

* My only regret about the day was that Jason and I didn't think to keep a running tally on how many times we said "Check this out" or "Look at this" or something along those lines. By the time we'd been in this store for about an hour I was already sick of hearing those phrases... but neither one of us could stop.

All in all, this was a happy magical day in a happy magical place. I think this place ranks right up there with Disney World. We're already plotting our return trip (we saw a lot more furniture that needs to be in our house). We're hoping to go back sometime after Christmas and get a whole lot more in debt. Ahhh, I love you Ikea

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