Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A post in which I whine. A lot.

The Universe is against me. I don't know which offensive action has pushed my luck over the edge (there are so many to choose from), but I am currently being bitch slapped by Karma.

This happy action fun time started last weekend when I came down with a sinus infection. Oh joy. Being one who hates to go to the doctor, I suffered through the days. But, knowing that a 3-day weekend was coming up, I decided to make an appointment so that I could (hopefully) get some good drugs to help me out. I did get some medicine and have been diligently taking it.

This weekend I did a lot of laying around on the couch. I even took naps on Saturday and Sunday. I rarely take naps. Rarely. But, my body/mind/soul was just that exhausted.

Yesterday, Jason and I had plans to attend a cookout at our friends' house around noon. I was slotted to bring cookies and these crescent roll things with a cream cheese mixture in the middle (it was a recipe I found that I thought sounded good and would be fun to make - correct on both of those, thankyouverymuch). I baked the cookies Saturday night and figured I'd make the other dish Monday morning.

Jason and I woke up Monday to find a puddle of water under our refrigerator and most of the stuff in the freezer defrosted. We assumed (hoped) that one of us just hadn't closed the freezer door all the way Sunday night. So, Jason mopped up the puddle, we turned down the thermostat to the freezer to make it colder faster to refreeze everything again. This was around 9:40am.

I made the crescent roll things (obviously, I have no idea what the hell these things are actually called), we both showered and got ready to head to the cookout. Before we left, we checked our freezer... It wasn't feeling one bit colder than it had felt at 9:40. What. The. Hell? Jason checked the fridge. Hmmm, that's also warmer than it should be.

At this point, we needed to leave for the cookout. We were all ready going to be a little late. So, in complete denial, we told ourselves that since I had been baking that morning and it was all ready a very warm day, our kitchen was just hot and therefore the fridge/freezer just needed more time to get cold. Yeah, that's it. That has to be it.

No. No it doesn't. Because the Universe hates me. And the Universe knows I'm poor.

 We came home a handful of hours later to find a very un-cold refrigerator. Oh shit. We do not have time to deal with this. We do not have the money for a new fridge.

Thankfully we still have Jason's college dorm fridge. We keep it in our basement/Jason's man cave. We were able to get most of our food from the fridge in that thing. And, our next door neighbor has a freezer in her garage where she keeps excess food. We were able to squeeze our frozen food in there. After we took care of the food, we hit the road, heading to check out a few appliance stores in the area... where we learned an important lesson:

You cannot walk into a store and walk out with a fridge. At least, not a fridge that you actually want. Most stores just do not stock fridges. We had contemplated buying a floor model, but that was an issue because most of those were stainless steel. While we love the look, our appliances are white and the silver color won't really match the rest of our decor.

On a good note - most of the stores we went to last night do have some kind of financing available. On a bad note - most everyone told us that it would be DAYS to actually get our fridge to us (one store said  it would be about 2 weeks. At which point I attacked the sales guy like a spider monkey. Or at least wanted to do that).

So, that's where Jason and I are right now - fridgeless. We ended up coming home defeated last night. But got online to look at our options again sans annoying sales guys. We've  found one we like at Home Depot AND they currently have a 24 month, no interest deal going. So, Jason is heading there today to get this ball rolling. Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well for us.

Oh, and I still struggling with that crappy sinus infection.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Oh. There's my problem.

Yesterday I cleaned out the fruit bowl sitting on my island. I realized I had a handful of tangerines that had been living in this bowl for... weeks. Definitely more than one, probably (hopefully) less than five.
God! Sorry for my photo taking skills. My Asian relatives
are so ashamed of me.
In tossing out the healthy crap, I discovered a forgotten treasure:
Oh yeah, that's the good stuff.
Yes, Jason and I had added candy bars to our fruit bowl. Because that's exactly where these things belong. Oh, and while I can't tell you when I bought the tangerines, I can tell you when we procured the candy bars. May 5th. I remember because we had just left the Susan G. Komen 5K race (yes, I'm aware of the hilariousness of what I just said) and made a pit stop at a store to get some Gatorade. At the register, the candy section screamed out to us, "hey, you. Looking for a good time? I'm buy one, get one free. That's right. You know you want me." Jason and I proceeded to buy FOUR bars (2 of each, 2 for each of us). We both immediately ate one bar apiece.... And then, obviously, put our remaining stash into the fruit bowl. I assume we were thinking that by being in close proximity to the tangerines, the candy bars would take on some healthy properties. 

We still haven't eaten these bars. Why? Because we had to eat the other 4 candy bars that we bought the other night. We went to a different store that had the same buy one, get one free sale. Sigh. At least I've figured out why I'm a chunky sushi roll. It's because all stores are against me with their damn candy sales.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I need to be more selective when choosing my friends

If you read my post yesterday, you know Jason and I signed up for another race - the Army Ten Miler - which will be held around the Pentagon.

My friend, Melissa, is obsessed with all things Pentagon/FBI/CIA/Ninja related. Last year she and her hubby went to Virginia and Washington, DC to visit her sister-in-law who lives right at the states' borders. Part of their touristing (yes, that's a word. Because I just said it. So there) was touring the Pentagon. Of course, Melissa saw the signs saying "no photos allowed," but she didn't actually believe they meant she couldn't take any photos. To be sure the signs were only for the people who looked shifty and like they might be terrorists.  Eventually she did get yelled at by a security guard in a golf cart type of vehicle.

Knowing that she'd get a kick out of the race I'll be doing in October, here is the email conversation that took place between us:

From: Missy
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 11:07 AM
To: Melissa
Subject: YAY!!

I’ll tell you the details when we head to lunch, but guess who’s going to D.C. in October… This chick! We’re going for a race – The Army Ten Miler (which opened at midnight last night/this morning and SOLD OUT BEFORE 11:00AM!!!).

Whoot, whoot!

[Note: I apologize for the cheesy ass "whoot, whoot." I was excited that Jason and I actually got registered for this damn race.]

From: Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 2:51 PM
To: Missy
Subject: RE: YAY!!

I know we’ve already talked about this, but I am SOOOOO freaking excited for you guys!!! I demand LOTS and LOTS of pictures!! And I mean during the race too! Haha!

[Note: Melissa and I had discussed the race details over lunch.]

From: Missy
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 2:54 PM
To: Melissa
Subject: RE: YAY!!

Are you TRYING to get me arrested???? I’ll see if I can sneak some. But you better be willing to bail me out. Hahahaha!

From: Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 2:56 PM
To: Missy
Subject: RE: YAY!!

Hahahaha!! Hey, how cool would it be if you got arrested at the Pentagon? I mean, besides the body cavity search, it would be the coolest thing ever. It would put my silly “I almost got in trouble” story to SHAME! Lol! Take one for the team, Missy. I will totally bail you out.

From: Missy
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 2:58 PM
To: Melissa
Subject: RE: YAY!!

And I would make YOU a t-shirt that says “My friend got arrested at the Pentagon and all I got was this shirt.” Yes, I will take one for the team. Because who doesn’t like a body cavity search?

From: Melissa Webb
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 3:01 PM
To: Missy Moorefield
Subject: RE: YAY!!

Hahahaha!! Exactly! A body cavity search would totally add to the realism and authenticity of your story. Plus: coolest blog story ever! Bonus!

I’m totally excited about that shirt now too. Ahah!

So a couple of new goals in my life are:
1. Find new friends who don't encourage me to get arrested. Or succumb to a body cavity search (that just sounds fununpleasant).
2. And see if I can push the envelope as I'm running around the Pentagon. Oh Lord. If there are no more blog posts from me past October 21st, you'll know what happened. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Oops, I did it again

Damn it. I never learn. Never.

I. Do. Not. Like. Running.  When the zombie apocalypse hits, I'm going to need guns with lots of ammo and pray that none of the zombies coming after me are of the sprinter variety, because if that plan fails... I think I can get use to eating brains.

Now that we've established that running and I are BFFs, guess what I've gone and done. Yep, I've signed up for another long distance race. Here, let me refresh your memory on my thoughts on running and me surviving that shit. By the way - I don't get a kick ass medal from this race.

In my defense this new race is NOT a half marathon. It's "only" 10 miles. Also it's around the Pentagon. So, how cool is that? Right? I suppose I can forfeit the medal for the sites I'll see. Maybe. [Note to self, demand that the Hubster make me a medal. Because I need one.]

Let me explain. In 2009 some friends of ours told hubby and me about the Army Ten Miler race in/around Virginia and DC. At that time hubby and I weren't even doing 5Ks, much less half marathons, so 10 miles sounded daunting (still does, actually). While we thought about doing it (we had a handful of months to start training), we bowed out gracefully because the race was the weekend before my black belt test in Tae Kwon Do. Besides not wanting to have 2 weekends in a row filled with ass-kicking, the fees for both my test and the race (plus gas, hotel accommodations, kenneling our dogs, etc, etc) kinda stopped us too.

Every year since then, those same friends would tell us about the race - either that the race was coming up or stories about how awesome the race had been that year. I got it in my head that I wanted to do this race. Not to mention, I sorta owe it to my father's memory and in honor of my brother. Dad retired from the Army and my bro enlisted for a couple of years before getting a medical discharge. So, obviously, the Army has a special place in my heart.

From visiting the website, I saw that registration would be open to the general public at 12:01am EST on May 15th. A few weeks ago, they had a special early registration for military folks (active and veterans) and for people who had done this race at least 7 times (2012 is the 28th year of this race, by the way). From that early registration, the number of registered participants was already up to 10,500. Only 30,000 can sign up. Our friends had told us that if we ever wanted to register of this race, we needed to be on the ball about doing so, because it sells out FAST.

So, being the anxious person that I am, I suggested to Jason that we stay up Monday night and register for this race, rather than wait until a decent hour on Tuesday. He agreed to my plan. And I'm glad we did. That race was sold out before 11:00am!!

So, it's time to step up my Crossfit classes and get my hard-core training on. I've got 5 months to get ready for another race.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Shaking my bonbon for a cure

Last Saturday was our city's Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K. My first year participating in this event was in 2010 - in fact, it was my first ever 5K. I love this event because of the festivities that go along with the race, the camaraderie you feel, and (of course) the significance behind the event.

This year's race was even more special to me. I got to be in a flash mob!

I love being the center of attention. But, only in a good way... Not in the "oh shit, I just peed my pants in public and now everyone's pointing and laughing at me" way. Only in the "hey, everyone, look how awesome I am. You know you wanna be me" way. So, when I was told about this opportunity to be in the flash mob, I didn't hesitate to sign-up. I had always wanted to participate in one and here was my chance.  The group was made up of instructors and students from a class called Sh'Bam, which is held at some of our local YMCAs.

We got to perform twice. Every year, about an hour or so before the race actually starts, a breakfast is held for survivors of breast cancer. The breakfast is held in this big open field where race sponsors set up their tents/booths and where a stage is set up for the bands that play throughout the morning. Our first act happened at the survivor breakfast tent. The second performance happened at the start line - about 40 minutes before the race actually started.

There were about 30 dancers in all. As is the norm with flash mobs, we were broken into smaller groups so that one group would begin dancing and then one by one, each of the other groups joined in on our cues. We were all wearing cover-ups over our "special" t-shirts and we removed those cover-ups when it was our group's turn to begin dancing.

After our second performance was over, we were surprised with one more event. About 15-20 minutes before the race starts, a little aerobic warm-up is done for the crowd. This year's warm-up was being held by an instructor of some Zumba classes. After seeing the Sh'Bammers, the instructor asked us to come to the very front and help lead the crowd in the warm-up. YAY! More spotlight time for me.

I had such a blast being in the flash mob. It was a fun experience and I'm glad I got to do it. I can't wait for the next time. To finish this post, here are a few pictures of the awesome-ness. 

One shot of the first dance (at the
Survivor's Breakfast)
The ending pose of the first dance.
Waiting for the second dance to start.
The second dance (at the start line)
I'm hidden behind someone in this shot.
Me being goofy waiting for the racers' warm-up to begin.
The warm-up begins. Notice that I am one of the front dancers.
Can anyone say "Attention Whore"?
Having so much fun!
What the hell is with my pinky??? I'm dancing
not having tea with the queen. For the love of...
Note to self, start walking around with my arms above my head.
It makes me look thin. YES!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I'm seeing red... on my neck.

This past Monday night I got to experience something a little out of the norm - WWE Raw. Live. As in I was there. In the arena. Hooting and hollerin' with the rest of the crowd. I felt so deliciously redneck.

As I've mentioned in an earlier post, The Hubster likes to watch " wrassling." I've never cared much for it, but would find myself sort of pulled into the drama as he was watching it. It is kind of fun to watch. Kind of. My favorite thing to do is make fun of the great (note the sarcasm) acting from the wrestlers and the reactions from the oh-so-classy crowd.

For those of you who actually has self-respect and doesn't know this kind of shit, WWE Raw travels from city to city. I had told Jason that when Raw came to our neck of the woods, we'd go. Hey, I had to pay him back. I've made the poor man sit through numerous musicals over the course of our relationship. I could give him this.

On Monday, we took a 1/2 day from work just to give us some down time before heading to our neighboring city (where the event was being held). Jason is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but if you know him like I do, you could see him vibrating with excitement. This was Christmas morning/his birthday/winning the lottery all rolled into one for him.

We finally got to the arena. As we were standing in line, along with the rest of the crowd (most of who hadn't had their monthly baths), I was amazed at the spectacle that surrounded me. One of the wrestlers likes to chant "yes, yes, yes" over and over. Well, a random group of his fans started chanting that word. Suddenly a chorus of "no, no, no" erupted from folks who didn't like this wrestler. I just looked at Jason with big, frightened doe eyes and chanted "maybe, maybe, maybe???" To which, Jason snorted and hung his head in shame.

Eventually we made our way to our seats (pretty good ones, too). I was actually starting to feel excitement over this. Yes, I know. My redneck was showing.

The highlight of the night though was meeting my boyfriend. Oh yes, you read that right. Jason was sitting on my left. Eventually, the 3 seats to my right were filled in by 3 Hispanic men. The one sitting directly beside me was a stocky fella (which, I'm no anorexic myself) and invaded my personal bubble quite a bit. In his defense, the arena seats are very snug. But, at point, I looked at Jason and informed him that I was pretty sure I had cheated on him and was probably going to have this guy's baby.

The guy, (I never did get his name, so I'll call him Mexi-Man) started chatting me up. At one point, he actually asked me "is that your husband," as he pointed toward Jason. I answered yes. His reply was, "He's not going to be mad?" Whaaa? I looked at Jason and just blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the question. I finally turned back to M-M and answered, "Noooo...." At this point, M-M, stuck out his hand to shake Jason's. I wasn't sure what had just happened there, but I'm pretty sure a deal was made to share me. Sooo, not comfortable with all this.

Through the whole wrestling event, the guy chatted with him - informing me which wrestlers he hated, who he liked, and who I thought would win the current match. The really bad part was, he had a very strong accent and was very hard to understand. I had to get him to repeat pretty much everything he said.

Finally the event was over. Jason and I sat in our seats, letting the crowd dissipate a bit before we headed on our way. I just sat there, taking it all in, wondering at this weird feeling inside of me.  Finally it clicked - I was feeling amazed that I had gotten to experience this event. And I had actually enjoyed it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

My Favorite Time of Year

Once a year, the city where I live has a Bulky Item Collection Day. The city mails out flyers to all the residents, letting them know when that special day will be and listing the items folks can and can't put out at the curb for pick-up.

People are allowed to start putting out their bulky items 3 days ahead of the actual pick-up day. And when those items start piling up, that's when the fun begins. Every year, you'll see people trolling through neighborhoods in trucks or with a trailer hitched to the back of their vehicle, checking out the glorious treasures that may await them.

A couple of years ago, Jason and I had a defunct vacuum cleaner that we put at the end of our driveway for that year's upcoming collection day. Before Jason even got back in the house from putting it out there, it was gone. I swear, some of these people are like ninjas! That same year, one of our neighbors told us they saw one of these prize hunters take an item from another neighbor's house... and then later that item was returned to said neighbor's house! What the hell?

This year when Jason and I got our flyer in the mail stating our collection date - May 7th - we decided to clean out our garage and see if we had anything we needed to dump. And we found quite a bit. Seriously, does anyone else randomly store useless crap in their garage??

We also decided to get rid of our couch. We have never had a new couch in our living room. We've gone through quite a few couches/chairs over the 10 years we've been married, but they were all hand-me-downs. The latest couch was given to us by Jason's brother, Alex. Alex had moved and no longer needed this particular couch. Since we hated the one we were currently using (given to us by my mom when she was getting rid of some of her furniture), we dumped that one and took Alex's. We've had Alex's couch for about 5 years and over the last year or so we decided we were sick of it. When we got our flyer in the mail announcing our upcoming collection day I used that date to convince Jason this was a perfect time to get a new couch - we wouldn't have to worry about getting rid of the old one. The city would take it for us. Perfect!

Since tomorrow is our pick-up day, Jason and I decided to put our treasure trove out today. As a joke, we noted the time (11:25am) to see how long it would take for stuff to start getting taken.  We were in the process of putting stuff out when the first truck stopped... As in I was at the end of my drive way, putting something down when Cleetus pulled up and had his lil' lady, Betty Sue, jump out to check out our stash. I offered a "hello" before I turned to hurry back up our driveway and into the safety of my garage. Wanting to finish cleaning out our garage, Jason and I took the final item - the couch - to the end of the driveway, where Cleetus and Betty Sue were waiting with anticipation to see what else we had for them. Upon seeing that all we had was a couch, Betty Sue asked [insert deliciously redneck accent here], "Hey, ya'll got any scrap metal?" With our disappointing answer of "no," Cleetus and Betty Sue took what they considered worthy and continued on their way.  As Jason and I were sweeping out our garage, two other trucks stopped, one after the other.

Now, Jason and I are sitting on our new couch, keeping one eye on the window, watching for people who stop. As of 11:45am - just 20 minutes since we put out this stuff - we've had 6 people stop by to pilfer through our junk and we've had 3 things taken.

Ah, the excitement of Bulky Item Collection Day. My favorite time of the year.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Buyer Beware

[Disclaimer: First I apologize for going off the radar. I've had some funny things pop up in my life I've been wanting to blog about, but there's also an unfunny situation happening that is making me see red and is dominating my brain waves right now. That's what this post is about - that situation. I should be back to my bubbly self soon]

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know I used to take Tae Kwon Do. You can read all about it here. After 3 years, I was burned out and decided to move on to other activities. My husband was the one who got me into taking TKD. He started taking in 1998 and it became such a part of his soul. He started taking at this school in 1999 or 2000 and he's been loyal to that school. He rarely misses classes, he even taught classes for about a year.

Now, the longer we were involved with the school, the more we started realizing that the owner/lead instructor of the school (I'll call him Master A) wasn't the best person morally. But, we were able to overlook those morals because they didn't affect us or Jason's training. Jason's classes were usually taught by a different instructor in the school (I'll call him Master B).

In late February, rumors started flying around the school that Master B, along with another instructor and the office manager, would be leaving the school at the end of March and starting their own school. These rumors were circulating among a small handful of students. Well, the end of March came and went and nothing happened. Those 3 guys didn't leave.

Fast forward to April, the rumors started up again and then proof starting popping up. A comment was made on Facebook from the office manager and a link to the new school's website was posted... Although that comment and link were quickly deleted. Word on the street was that the new school was going to be opening on May 1st.

This time it was obvious that this was happening. But, no announcements were made at our school. None. Due to all the sneakiness that was happening Jason sat down with Master A and Master B to discuss being let go from his contract. He told them that he needed to clear his head from the lack of communication and the way things were being handled and just step away from TKD and our school before he ended up hating it all. Both masters said they understood and said it wouldn't be a problem. They both also said that their doors would always be opened for Jason to come back and pick up his training again. That was that.

Or so we thought.

Jason got an email from our school saying usually when a contract is cut, you do owe the remaining balance. But, since Jason has been so loyal, they would only charge him 30% of the remaining balance. That equals over $800. I do understand about the contract breaking fee, but only if you are just saying "I came to TKD and I just don't want to do this anymore" not, "I'm breaking my contract because you fucktards are causing me to do this with your morals and sneakiness."

It is a known fact that our school has broken other contracts for folks with no penalties due to extenuating circumstances. We thought Master A would understand that this sneaking around bullshit was definitely extenuating circumstances. We thought that loyalty to this school for over a decade would count for something.

We forgot that Master A is a greedy son-of-a-bitch who only cares about money and has no morals. Martial Arts is all about discipline and making yourself a better person. Not about seeing how big of a dick you can be. I could go on and on about how many bridges Master A has burned over the years - and some of those bridges were with people he was really close to - by lying or stabbing people in the back. But, I'll save that for another day.

I just wanted to vent about the asshole that is this man and the shit that Jason and I are going through.