Thursday, February 23, 2012

Babies R Not For Me

Meet my best friend and co-worker, Melissa.
Yes, the hat is part of her daily work "uniform."

Today our friendship was put to the test when Melissa dragged me (kicking and screaming mind you) to Babies R Us. As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm a not a fan of 2 legged ankle biters (check it) and I believe that pregnancy cooties are highly contagious (hubby is now cut off until I feel that the infection time frame has passed. Do you think it's safe to take a whole month's worth of birth control pills in one sitting???). In her defense, Melissa is not a fan of children either. She had to visit the aforementioned establishment to get a gift for a friend of hers who recently popped out a young'un and she asked if I'd like to join her on this field trip at lunch. Since I AM a fan of getting out of the office, I quickly jumped on the bandwagon. 

Melissa wanted to get an outfit for the new baby, so we headed straight to the clothes section and began flipping through the clothes racks. At one point Melissa picked up a cute PJ set that consisted of pants and a short-sleeved t-shirt. It was a cute set. But, Melissa had an important question to ask, "I know it's cold right now, but would he wear short sleeves to bed? I mean, I do... But, is he like a normal human???" Good question. And I was totally clueless as to how to answer that. I, myself, like to wear short sleeves when I sleep. But, would a baby be able to handle that in the winter? Who would know something like that?

After Melissa picked the winning outfit (not the PJ set - we were too stressed out over the whole "would the baby be too cold" thing, so Melissa put it back), we decided to wander the store for a bit. Anything to delay going back to work. 

Randomly, I came across a display of sunglasses for babies and toddlers. Now I had never thought of putting a baby in sunglasses. Huh. How interesting. Knowing that I have a smallish head, I decided to try on a pair that I sort of liked. And, what do ya know - they fit. 

Me and my freakishly small head.
I was tempted to get them. Hey - they were only $4 and they fit fine. But then I thought how embarrassing it would be if someone asked where I got my sunglasses and I told them Babies R Us. Although, I have seen some diaper bags that I'd like to get as a purse. Some of those bags would be perfect for all the crap I carry! 

And here's something disturbing -

Obviously, this item - whatever the hell a "pack 'n' play" is - comes with a newborn! Needless to say, I shan't be buying a pack 'n' play. Not unless I can get the newborn-less version. 

As for mine an Melissa's friendship - since she delivered me back to work safe and sound and baby free, I think our friendship will be ok... for now. 


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you! And thanks for reading my post.

  2. OOOOH Missy!! I'm here to tell ya that birth control pills don't always work. I was on them for 50% of my kids! I like to say it that way because it makes it sound like I have a bajillion kids, and it makes people wonder. :D Weeeeeee!! You're fun!

    1. Nooooo! Now I'm all scared that my birth control pills are going to fail on me. And, I do have to say that my curiosity is piqued with the number of children you have. Haha! Thank you for reading my post!

  3. Hahaha!! I don't even know where to start, girl! This is awesome!

    I suppose I shall selfishly start by saying this is hands down one of my favorite blogs! haha! You captured this SO well, it's like I was there again! And hey, I think we asked some legitimate questions. Maybe we should have asked the people working there? lol

    Secondly: to anyone reading this, I cannot take credit for that crazy cute hat: it came from crazy cute Missy! ;) I need to bring that back in the office more often.

    Next, I still say you should have gotten those sunglasses. lol! It takes a special kind of adult to be able to wear toddler accessories. Plus like you said, it would've been fun to see people's reactions when you revealed what store they came from.

    And finally, I love how you write! Hilarious! Encore! :)

    1. Thank you on all counts... especially for giving me something to write about. Heehee. You and I need to get pictures together of you in this hat and me in the Hello Kitty hat you got me for my birthday.

      As for the sunglasses - I would say we need to go back so I can get them. Buuuut, I'm thinking another trip to this store will be too stressful on us and our fragile psyches.

  4. I love that the pack n play said with newborn. Hahaha. Thanks for making me laugh. Absolutely love your blog!!!

    1. I'm so glad I am able to make you laugh. Thanks so much for reading my blog! And keep up the good work on yours!