Saturday, July 14, 2012

East Bound and Down II: Mall Decorations

If you read yesterday's post, then you know that Jason and were in a crappy lil' town called Kinston last weekend. If you need to catch up, go here. As I mentioned at the end of that post, I wanted to show y'all the wonderful decorations at Vernon Park Mall (Kinston's poor excuse of a shopping center).

Many years ago, some brainiac decided it would be awesome-to-the-max to put up these HUGE banners advertising shows for the TV channel, WB. A channel that Kinston didn't even have on their cable network. Yes. That makes sense. Let's tease you people with shows that you can't watch. Remember - this was years ago. As in before Hulu. I'm not even sure if you could've gone to the WB's  website to watch the shows back then.

Anyhoo - fast forward to present day. Those banners are still there. Now, in Kinston's defense, I'm not sure if they now have the WB channel. But, to knock Kinston's credibility back down, all of the shows portrayed on these banners are cancelled. Some have been off the air for years. 

Look at us. We're soooo deliciously white. 
Ok, One Tree Hill actually did end earlier this year, so not so bad that this banner is up, right? But, I'll admit, I did watch this show for a few seasons (call it boredom), so I know that quite a few seasons ago the chick on the left and the guy left the show. So, this banner is still that outdated. Maybe the mall personnel left this banner up because the show was actually taped in North Carolina (and was set in this state too). Also, for a period a Winston-Salem native was a regular on the show.

Obviously this banner is trying to appeal to young, hip guys.
Should we tell them it's not working?
Look, a banner advertising 2 shows! Obviously neither show was big enough to warrant having their own poster. Well, Smallville did actually have a pretty good following from the nerdy crowd since this show was about Superman as a teenager. It made it to 2011. So, again this advertisement isn't too outdated. Everwood, however, ended in 2006. I'm assuming people saw the 2 guys portrayed on the banner, read the name Everwood, and figured this was a bad porno.

Just act natural and pretend that the creepy guy isn't
hanging out with us.  
Ah, Gilmore Girls. I actually watched this show while it was on... and liked it (hey, don't judge me). Notice I said "while it was on." This show went to the wayside in 2007.

This banner (tries to) show that the WB believed in
diversity by having a token black guy.
Three shows are portrayed here. I guess the makers of these large posters were just getting lazy. Whatever. Starting on the right. This actor was from King of Queens, which was cancelled in 2007. I have no clue what show the middle guy is from. I pretty sure his show is long gone. My favorite is the Bernie Mac, the guy on the left. Not only did his show end in 2006, but Bernie passed away in 2008.

If you ever happen to pass through Kinston, you should take the time to stop at Vernon Park Mall. You won't get to do much shopping or get a bite to eat, but you'll get to pay homage to some former WB shows. And that makes the visit worth a pound of shit.


  1. My sister offered me a bag of DVDs earlier this year. It was the entire "One Tree Hill" collection.

    I watched the first season, but couldn't handle much more after that. I think I watched about 5 episodes of Season 2 before I handed it back to her.

    It was just too much. And I felt like I was taking away valuable time from more important shows that actually had significance.

    1. Wow! Your sister actually spent money on this series? I'll admit that I got the DVDs off of Netflix until I caught up to the current season, then I started DVRing. But it's been years since I actually watched this show. It just got dumber and dumber and dumber...